Sometimes I feel like I’ve lost my right arm. It’s easy for him because he replaced me, I however have this weird emptiness in my life. It’s like he died sometimes, I had this best friend who I could text every day and share stories with or cool things I heard or saw that day and now it just silence. It kills me knowing that no matter what I do it takes two people to make things right and I can try and try without anything happening. I am so confused by what happened, it seemed like all of a sudden he got a girlfriend and didn’t need me anymore so all the old issues converged into him hating me. I thought breaking up was bad but losing him in my life completely is worse. The hardest part is that I am doing so well, my parents said the change has been like night and day. I am happy, genuinely happy. I’m not scared or anxious anymore. I don’t feel hopeless and like i’m sinking. I’m social and confidant and just so much better to be around and talk with. I wanted to share that with him. I wanted to apologize that this is what it took for me to finally after almost 21 years figure my shit out. This is the version of me that should have been in a relationship. As much as I miss him I am so happy he did replace me, I really hope the best for him. Maybe one day far down the road we will reconnect but I am no longer counting on that. I had just hoped we could stay friends. In his own, round about, unintentional way he did fix me, just like he set out to do, I’m just sorry that now he will never see the results of that. It’s like an ice pick through my heart every time I think about how much he hates me now because I still care for him with my whole heart, I still worry and want him to be good. It’s hard to care so much for someone but then know that they probably wouldn’t blink an eye if you died in a car accident tomorrow. I hope he doesn’t hold these feelings for me for too long. His ex tried to steal his child and he is friendly with her now, so I hope that somewhere down the line there is a chance for me. Anyways I am done lamenting and rambling. No one reads these anyways. 

Goodnight. 

Only time I really miss him? When I want to have sex. Then I think about him having sex with that new girl and I get this nauseous feeling in my stomach. I wish I could just fuck him every once in a while and move on with my life otherwise. Unfortunately I’ll always fall back in love with him, no matter how he hurts me or punished me.

goonandcatchyourdreams:

ichoose-thelabyrinth:

theroguefeminist:

cringing:

birdvswindowpane:

unfriendlyjewishhottie:

themaskednegro:

fuckedupgal:

themodifiedlife:

ndnickerson:

because it helps to remember this every now and then.

Also did anybody else notice that they removed the “Elton John’s AIDS foundation” logo from Miley’s picture? Fuckin’ agendas everywhere….

I literally threw a mini fit

The fact that they even touched up the woman in the BACKGROUND of the Selena Gomez pic is crazy.

I’ve said this every time it comes on my dash but please also notice that a lot of the women get photoshopped lighter.

And that´s the reason why nobody should try to be that thin, because that thin doesn´t exist in reality.

THIS IS SO SATISFYING TO LOOK AT I LITERALLY STARED AT THIS FOR LIKE 12 MINUTEs

there’s so much racism here with how they change rihanna’s nose

Woah.

I think the nose changing is what pisses me off the most.
Zoom Info
goonandcatchyourdreams:

ichoose-thelabyrinth:

theroguefeminist:

cringing:

birdvswindowpane:

unfriendlyjewishhottie:

themaskednegro:

fuckedupgal:

themodifiedlife:

ndnickerson:

because it helps to remember this every now and then.

Also did anybody else notice that they removed the “Elton John’s AIDS foundation” logo from Miley’s picture? Fuckin’ agendas everywhere….

I literally threw a mini fit

The fact that they even touched up the woman in the BACKGROUND of the Selena Gomez pic is crazy.

I’ve said this every time it comes on my dash but please also notice that a lot of the women get photoshopped lighter.

And that´s the reason why nobody should try to be that thin, because that thin doesn´t exist in reality.

THIS IS SO SATISFYING TO LOOK AT I LITERALLY STARED AT THIS FOR LIKE 12 MINUTEs

there’s so much racism here with how they change rihanna’s nose

Woah.

I think the nose changing is what pisses me off the most.
Zoom Info
goonandcatchyourdreams:

ichoose-thelabyrinth:

theroguefeminist:

cringing:

birdvswindowpane:

unfriendlyjewishhottie:

themaskednegro:

fuckedupgal:

themodifiedlife:

ndnickerson:

because it helps to remember this every now and then.

Also did anybody else notice that they removed the “Elton John’s AIDS foundation” logo from Miley’s picture? Fuckin’ agendas everywhere….

I literally threw a mini fit

The fact that they even touched up the woman in the BACKGROUND of the Selena Gomez pic is crazy.

I’ve said this every time it comes on my dash but please also notice that a lot of the women get photoshopped lighter.

And that´s the reason why nobody should try to be that thin, because that thin doesn´t exist in reality.

THIS IS SO SATISFYING TO LOOK AT I LITERALLY STARED AT THIS FOR LIKE 12 MINUTEs

there’s so much racism here with how they change rihanna’s nose

Woah.

I think the nose changing is what pisses me off the most.
Zoom Info
goonandcatchyourdreams:

ichoose-thelabyrinth:

theroguefeminist:

cringing:

birdvswindowpane:

unfriendlyjewishhottie:

themaskednegro:

fuckedupgal:

themodifiedlife:

ndnickerson:

because it helps to remember this every now and then.

Also did anybody else notice that they removed the “Elton John’s AIDS foundation” logo from Miley’s picture? Fuckin’ agendas everywhere….

I literally threw a mini fit

The fact that they even touched up the woman in the BACKGROUND of the Selena Gomez pic is crazy.

I’ve said this every time it comes on my dash but please also notice that a lot of the women get photoshopped lighter.

And that´s the reason why nobody should try to be that thin, because that thin doesn´t exist in reality.

THIS IS SO SATISFYING TO LOOK AT I LITERALLY STARED AT THIS FOR LIKE 12 MINUTEs

there’s so much racism here with how they change rihanna’s nose

Woah.

I think the nose changing is what pisses me off the most.
Zoom Info
goonandcatchyourdreams:

ichoose-thelabyrinth:

theroguefeminist:

cringing:

birdvswindowpane:

unfriendlyjewishhottie:

themaskednegro:

fuckedupgal:

themodifiedlife:

ndnickerson:

because it helps to remember this every now and then.

Also did anybody else notice that they removed the “Elton John’s AIDS foundation” logo from Miley’s picture? Fuckin’ agendas everywhere….

I literally threw a mini fit

The fact that they even touched up the woman in the BACKGROUND of the Selena Gomez pic is crazy.

I’ve said this every time it comes on my dash but please also notice that a lot of the women get photoshopped lighter.

And that´s the reason why nobody should try to be that thin, because that thin doesn´t exist in reality.

THIS IS SO SATISFYING TO LOOK AT I LITERALLY STARED AT THIS FOR LIKE 12 MINUTEs

there’s so much racism here with how they change rihanna’s nose

Woah.

I think the nose changing is what pisses me off the most.
Zoom Info
goonandcatchyourdreams:

ichoose-thelabyrinth:

theroguefeminist:

cringing:

birdvswindowpane:

unfriendlyjewishhottie:

themaskednegro:

fuckedupgal:

themodifiedlife:

ndnickerson:

because it helps to remember this every now and then.

Also did anybody else notice that they removed the “Elton John’s AIDS foundation” logo from Miley’s picture? Fuckin’ agendas everywhere….

I literally threw a mini fit

The fact that they even touched up the woman in the BACKGROUND of the Selena Gomez pic is crazy.

I’ve said this every time it comes on my dash but please also notice that a lot of the women get photoshopped lighter.

And that´s the reason why nobody should try to be that thin, because that thin doesn´t exist in reality.

THIS IS SO SATISFYING TO LOOK AT I LITERALLY STARED AT THIS FOR LIKE 12 MINUTEs

there’s so much racism here with how they change rihanna’s nose

Woah.

I think the nose changing is what pisses me off the most.
Zoom Info
goonandcatchyourdreams:

ichoose-thelabyrinth:

theroguefeminist:

cringing:

birdvswindowpane:

unfriendlyjewishhottie:

themaskednegro:

fuckedupgal:

themodifiedlife:

ndnickerson:

because it helps to remember this every now and then.

Also did anybody else notice that they removed the “Elton John’s AIDS foundation” logo from Miley’s picture? Fuckin’ agendas everywhere….

I literally threw a mini fit

The fact that they even touched up the woman in the BACKGROUND of the Selena Gomez pic is crazy.

I’ve said this every time it comes on my dash but please also notice that a lot of the women get photoshopped lighter.

And that´s the reason why nobody should try to be that thin, because that thin doesn´t exist in reality.

THIS IS SO SATISFYING TO LOOK AT I LITERALLY STARED AT THIS FOR LIKE 12 MINUTEs

there’s so much racism here with how they change rihanna’s nose

Woah.

I think the nose changing is what pisses me off the most.
Zoom Info
goonandcatchyourdreams:

ichoose-thelabyrinth:

theroguefeminist:

cringing:

birdvswindowpane:

unfriendlyjewishhottie:

themaskednegro:

fuckedupgal:

themodifiedlife:

ndnickerson:

because it helps to remember this every now and then.

Also did anybody else notice that they removed the “Elton John’s AIDS foundation” logo from Miley’s picture? Fuckin’ agendas everywhere….

I literally threw a mini fit

The fact that they even touched up the woman in the BACKGROUND of the Selena Gomez pic is crazy.

I’ve said this every time it comes on my dash but please also notice that a lot of the women get photoshopped lighter.

And that´s the reason why nobody should try to be that thin, because that thin doesn´t exist in reality.

THIS IS SO SATISFYING TO LOOK AT I LITERALLY STARED AT THIS FOR LIKE 12 MINUTEs

there’s so much racism here with how they change rihanna’s nose

Woah.

I think the nose changing is what pisses me off the most.
Zoom Info
goonandcatchyourdreams:

ichoose-thelabyrinth:

theroguefeminist:

cringing:

birdvswindowpane:

unfriendlyjewishhottie:

themaskednegro:

fuckedupgal:

themodifiedlife:

ndnickerson:

because it helps to remember this every now and then.

Also did anybody else notice that they removed the “Elton John’s AIDS foundation” logo from Miley’s picture? Fuckin’ agendas everywhere….

I literally threw a mini fit

The fact that they even touched up the woman in the BACKGROUND of the Selena Gomez pic is crazy.

I’ve said this every time it comes on my dash but please also notice that a lot of the women get photoshopped lighter.

And that´s the reason why nobody should try to be that thin, because that thin doesn´t exist in reality.

THIS IS SO SATISFYING TO LOOK AT I LITERALLY STARED AT THIS FOR LIKE 12 MINUTEs

there’s so much racism here with how they change rihanna’s nose

Woah.

I think the nose changing is what pisses me off the most.
Zoom Info
goonandcatchyourdreams:

ichoose-thelabyrinth:

theroguefeminist:

cringing:

birdvswindowpane:

unfriendlyjewishhottie:

themaskednegro:

fuckedupgal:

themodifiedlife:

ndnickerson:

because it helps to remember this every now and then.

Also did anybody else notice that they removed the “Elton John’s AIDS foundation” logo from Miley’s picture? Fuckin’ agendas everywhere….

I literally threw a mini fit

The fact that they even touched up the woman in the BACKGROUND of the Selena Gomez pic is crazy.

I’ve said this every time it comes on my dash but please also notice that a lot of the women get photoshopped lighter.

And that´s the reason why nobody should try to be that thin, because that thin doesn´t exist in reality.

THIS IS SO SATISFYING TO LOOK AT I LITERALLY STARED AT THIS FOR LIKE 12 MINUTEs

there’s so much racism here with how they change rihanna’s nose

Woah.

I think the nose changing is what pisses me off the most.
Zoom Info

goonandcatchyourdreams:

ichoose-thelabyrinth:

theroguefeminist:

cringing:

birdvswindowpane:

unfriendlyjewishhottie:

themaskednegro:

fuckedupgal:

themodifiedlife:

ndnickerson:

because it helps to remember this every now and then.

Also did anybody else notice that they removed the “Elton John’s AIDS foundation” logo from Miley’s picture? Fuckin’ agendas everywhere….

I literally threw a mini fit

The fact that they even touched up the woman in the BACKGROUND of the Selena Gomez pic is crazy.

I’ve said this every time it comes on my dash but please also notice that a lot of the women get photoshopped lighter.

And that´s the reason why nobody should try to be that thin, because that thin doesn´t exist in reality.

THIS IS SO SATISFYING TO LOOK AT I LITERALLY STARED AT THIS FOR LIKE 12 MINUTEs

there’s so much racism here with how they change rihanna’s nose

Woah.

I think the nose changing is what pisses me off the most.

lora-mathis:

wildflower-collective:

"T(ex)ting"Lora Mathis & Kasey ReinboldAugust 2014

It’s over.
All that remains in place of a relationship gone sour is a collection of hurt feelings and angry text messages.
Things you couldn’t have said in person. Things you probably shouldn’t have said from behind a keyboard. 
T(ex)ting is a series that explores how the termination of a relationship interrupts routine, and how technology’s capacity to convert the emotional to the tangible (in the form of archived text messages) can prolong the healing process that follows a break-up.

Graphics by Kasey ReinboldPhotos by Lora MathisConcept / Art Direction by Lora & Kasey

First Wildflower collab is up now! 

relevant 
Zoom Info
lora-mathis:

wildflower-collective:

"T(ex)ting"Lora Mathis & Kasey ReinboldAugust 2014

It’s over.
All that remains in place of a relationship gone sour is a collection of hurt feelings and angry text messages.
Things you couldn’t have said in person. Things you probably shouldn’t have said from behind a keyboard. 
T(ex)ting is a series that explores how the termination of a relationship interrupts routine, and how technology’s capacity to convert the emotional to the tangible (in the form of archived text messages) can prolong the healing process that follows a break-up.

Graphics by Kasey ReinboldPhotos by Lora MathisConcept / Art Direction by Lora & Kasey

First Wildflower collab is up now! 

relevant 
Zoom Info
lora-mathis:

wildflower-collective:

"T(ex)ting"Lora Mathis & Kasey ReinboldAugust 2014

It’s over.
All that remains in place of a relationship gone sour is a collection of hurt feelings and angry text messages.
Things you couldn’t have said in person. Things you probably shouldn’t have said from behind a keyboard. 
T(ex)ting is a series that explores how the termination of a relationship interrupts routine, and how technology’s capacity to convert the emotional to the tangible (in the form of archived text messages) can prolong the healing process that follows a break-up.

Graphics by Kasey ReinboldPhotos by Lora MathisConcept / Art Direction by Lora & Kasey

First Wildflower collab is up now! 

relevant 
Zoom Info
lora-mathis:

wildflower-collective:

"T(ex)ting"Lora Mathis & Kasey ReinboldAugust 2014

It’s over.
All that remains in place of a relationship gone sour is a collection of hurt feelings and angry text messages.
Things you couldn’t have said in person. Things you probably shouldn’t have said from behind a keyboard. 
T(ex)ting is a series that explores how the termination of a relationship interrupts routine, and how technology’s capacity to convert the emotional to the tangible (in the form of archived text messages) can prolong the healing process that follows a break-up.

Graphics by Kasey ReinboldPhotos by Lora MathisConcept / Art Direction by Lora & Kasey

First Wildflower collab is up now! 

relevant 
Zoom Info
lora-mathis:

wildflower-collective:

"T(ex)ting"Lora Mathis & Kasey ReinboldAugust 2014

It’s over.
All that remains in place of a relationship gone sour is a collection of hurt feelings and angry text messages.
Things you couldn’t have said in person. Things you probably shouldn’t have said from behind a keyboard. 
T(ex)ting is a series that explores how the termination of a relationship interrupts routine, and how technology’s capacity to convert the emotional to the tangible (in the form of archived text messages) can prolong the healing process that follows a break-up.

Graphics by Kasey ReinboldPhotos by Lora MathisConcept / Art Direction by Lora & Kasey

First Wildflower collab is up now! 

relevant 
Zoom Info
lora-mathis:

wildflower-collective:

"T(ex)ting"Lora Mathis & Kasey ReinboldAugust 2014

It’s over.
All that remains in place of a relationship gone sour is a collection of hurt feelings and angry text messages.
Things you couldn’t have said in person. Things you probably shouldn’t have said from behind a keyboard. 
T(ex)ting is a series that explores how the termination of a relationship interrupts routine, and how technology’s capacity to convert the emotional to the tangible (in the form of archived text messages) can prolong the healing process that follows a break-up.

Graphics by Kasey ReinboldPhotos by Lora MathisConcept / Art Direction by Lora & Kasey

First Wildflower collab is up now! 

relevant 
Zoom Info

lora-mathis:

wildflower-collective:

"T(ex)ting"
Lora Mathis & Kasey Reinbold
August 2014

It’s over.

All that remains in place of a relationship gone sour is a collection of hurt feelings and angry text messages.

Things you couldn’t have said in person. Things you probably shouldn’t have said from behind a keyboard. 

T(ex)ting is a series that explores how the termination of a relationship interrupts routine, and how technology’s capacity to convert the emotional to the tangible (in the form of archived text messages) can prolong the healing process that follows a break-up.

Graphics by Kasey Reinbold
Photos by Lora Mathis
Concept / Art Direction by Lora & Kasey

First Wildflower collab is up now! 

relevant 


"Everything in my head went quiet. 
All the ticks, all the constantly refreshing images just disappeared. 
When you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you don’t really get quiet moments. 
Even in bed, I’m thinking: Did I lock the doors? Yes. Did I wash my hands? Yes. Did I lock the doors? Yes. Did I wash my hands? Yes. But when I saw her, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips.. Or the eyelash on her cheek- the eyelash on her cheek- the eyelash on her cheek. I knew I had to talk to her. I asked her out six times in thirty seconds. She said yes after the third one, but none of them felt right, so I had to keep going. On our first date, I spent more time organizing my meal by color than I did eating it, or talking to her.. But she loved it. She loved that I had to kiss her goodbye sixteen times or twenty-four times at different times of the day. She loved that it took me forever to walk home because there are lots of cracks on our sidewalk. When we moved in together, she said she felt safe, like no one would ever rob us because I definitely lock the door eighteen times. I’d always watch her mouth when she talked- when she talked- when she talked- when she talked; when she said she loved me, her mouth would curl up at the edges. At night, she’d lay in bed and watch me turn all the lights off.. And on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off. She’d close her eyes and imagine that the days and nights were passing in front of her. But then.. She said I was taking up too much of her time. That I couldn’t kiss her goodbye so much because I was making her late for work.. When she said she loved me, her mouth was a straight line.. When I stopped in front of a crack in the sidewalk, she just kept walking.. And last week she started sleeping at her mother’s place. She told me that she shouldn’t have let me get so attached to her; that this whole thing was a mistake, but.. How can it be a mistake that I don’t have to wash my hands after I touch her? Love is not a mistake, and it’s killing me that she can run away from this and I just can’t. I can’t go out and find someone new because I always think of her. Usually, when I obsess over things, I see germs sneaking into my skin. I see myself crushed my an endless succession of cars.. And she was the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck on. I want to wake up every morning thinking about the way she holds her steering wheel.. How she turns shower knobs like she opening a safe. How she blows out candles- blows out candles- blows out candles- blows out candles- blows out-…. Now, I just think about who else is kissing her. I can’t breathe because he only kisses her once-he doesn’t care if it’s perfect! I want her back so bad.. I leave the door unlocked. I leave the lights on. ”
Zoom Info

"Everything in my head went quiet. 
All the ticks, all the constantly refreshing images just disappeared. 
When you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you don’t really get quiet moments. 
Even in bed, I’m thinking: Did I lock the doors? Yes. Did I wash my hands? Yes. Did I lock the doors? Yes. Did I wash my hands? Yes. But when I saw her, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips.. Or the eyelash on her cheek- the eyelash on her cheek- the eyelash on her cheek. I knew I had to talk to her. I asked her out six times in thirty seconds. She said yes after the third one, but none of them felt right, so I had to keep going. On our first date, I spent more time organizing my meal by color than I did eating it, or talking to her.. But she loved it. She loved that I had to kiss her goodbye sixteen times or twenty-four times at different times of the day. She loved that it took me forever to walk home because there are lots of cracks on our sidewalk. When we moved in together, she said she felt safe, like no one would ever rob us because I definitely lock the door eighteen times. I’d always watch her mouth when she talked- when she talked- when she talked- when she talked; when she said she loved me, her mouth would curl up at the edges. At night, she’d lay in bed and watch me turn all the lights off.. And on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off. She’d close her eyes and imagine that the days and nights were passing in front of her. But then.. She said I was taking up too much of her time. That I couldn’t kiss her goodbye so much because I was making her late for work.. When she said she loved me, her mouth was a straight line.. When I stopped in front of a crack in the sidewalk, she just kept walking.. And last week she started sleeping at her mother’s place. She told me that she shouldn’t have let me get so attached to her; that this whole thing was a mistake, but.. How can it be a mistake that I don’t have to wash my hands after I touch her? Love is not a mistake, and it’s killing me that she can run away from this and I just can’t. I can’t go out and find someone new because I always think of her. Usually, when I obsess over things, I see germs sneaking into my skin. I see myself crushed my an endless succession of cars.. And she was the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck on. I want to wake up every morning thinking about the way she holds her steering wheel.. How she turns shower knobs like she opening a safe. How she blows out candles- blows out candles- blows out candles- blows out candles- blows out-…. Now, I just think about who else is kissing her. I can’t breathe because he only kisses her once-he doesn’t care if it’s perfect! I want her back so bad.. I leave the door unlocked. I leave the lights on. ”
Zoom Info

"Everything in my head went quiet. 
All the ticks, all the constantly refreshing images just disappeared. 
When you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you don’t really get quiet moments. 
Even in bed, I’m thinking: Did I lock the doors? Yes. Did I wash my hands? Yes. Did I lock the doors? Yes. Did I wash my hands? Yes. But when I saw her, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips.. Or the eyelash on her cheek- the eyelash on her cheek- the eyelash on her cheek. I knew I had to talk to her. I asked her out six times in thirty seconds. She said yes after the third one, but none of them felt right, so I had to keep going. On our first date, I spent more time organizing my meal by color than I did eating it, or talking to her.. But she loved it. She loved that I had to kiss her goodbye sixteen times or twenty-four times at different times of the day. She loved that it took me forever to walk home because there are lots of cracks on our sidewalk. When we moved in together, she said she felt safe, like no one would ever rob us because I definitely lock the door eighteen times. I’d always watch her mouth when she talked- when she talked- when she talked- when she talked; when she said she loved me, her mouth would curl up at the edges. At night, she’d lay in bed and watch me turn all the lights off.. And on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off. She’d close her eyes and imagine that the days and nights were passing in front of her. But then.. She said I was taking up too much of her time. That I couldn’t kiss her goodbye so much because I was making her late for work.. When she said she loved me, her mouth was a straight line.. When I stopped in front of a crack in the sidewalk, she just kept walking.. And last week she started sleeping at her mother’s place. She told me that she shouldn’t have let me get so attached to her; that this whole thing was a mistake, but.. How can it be a mistake that I don’t have to wash my hands after I touch her? Love is not a mistake, and it’s killing me that she can run away from this and I just can’t. I can’t go out and find someone new because I always think of her. Usually, when I obsess over things, I see germs sneaking into my skin. I see myself crushed my an endless succession of cars.. And she was the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck on. I want to wake up every morning thinking about the way she holds her steering wheel.. How she turns shower knobs like she opening a safe. How she blows out candles- blows out candles- blows out candles- blows out candles- blows out-…. Now, I just think about who else is kissing her. I can’t breathe because he only kisses her once-he doesn’t care if it’s perfect! I want her back so bad.. I leave the door unlocked. I leave the lights on. ”
Zoom Info

"Everything in my head went quiet. 

All the ticks, all the constantly refreshing images just disappeared. 

When you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you don’t really get quiet moments. 

Even in bed, I’m thinking: 
Did I lock the doors? Yes. 
Did I wash my hands? Yes. 
Did I lock the doors? Yes. 
Did I wash my hands? Yes. 
But when I saw her, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips.. 
Or the eyelash on her cheek- 
the eyelash on her cheek- 
the eyelash on her cheek. 
I knew I had to talk to her. 
I asked her out six times in thirty seconds. 
She said yes after the third one, but none of them felt right, so I had to keep going. 
On our first date, I spent more time organizing my meal by color than I did eating it, or talking to her.. 
But she loved it. 
She loved that I had to kiss her goodbye sixteen times or twenty-four times at different times of the day. 
She loved that it took me forever to walk home because there are lots of cracks on our sidewalk. 
When we moved in together, she said she felt safe, like no one would ever rob us because I definitely lock the door eighteen times. 
I’d always watch her mouth when she talked- 
when she talked- 
when she talked- 
when she talked; 
when she said she loved me, her mouth would curl up at the edges. 
At night, she’d lay in bed and watch me turn all the lights off.. And on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off. 
She’d close her eyes and imagine that the days and nights were passing in front of her. 
But then.. She said I was taking up too much of her time. 
That I couldn’t kiss her goodbye so much because I was making her late for work.. 
When she said she loved me, her mouth was a straight line.. 
When I stopped in front of a crack in the sidewalk, she just kept walking.. 
And last week she started sleeping at her mother’s place. 
She told me that she shouldn’t have let me get so attached to her; that this whole thing was a mistake, but.. 
How can it be a mistake that I don’t have to wash my hands after I touch her? 
Love is not a mistake, and it’s killing me that she can run away from this and I just can’t. 
I can’t go out and find someone new because I always think of her. 
Usually, when I obsess over things, I see germs sneaking into my skin. 
I see myself crushed my an endless succession of cars.. 
And she was the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck on. 
I want to wake up every morning thinking about the way she holds her steering wheel.. 
How she turns shower knobs like she opening a safe. 
How she blows out candles- 
blows out candles- 
blows out candles- 
blows out candles- 
blows out-…. 
Now, I just think about who else is kissing her. 
I can’t breathe because he only kisses her once-he doesn’t care if it’s perfect! 
I want her back so bad.. 
I leave the door unlocked. 
I leave the lights on. ”

If I had known months ago that I would be single and a little bit heart broken this weekend I would have bought tickets to EDC. I would have been out there having fun and distracted and not sitting here a little bit heartbroken and considering the pros and cons of a mini fridge. But I have my room to focus on and my outfit for tomorrow to wash and I just are like a ton of spicy Thai so it should make me feel not so sad soon. Comic expo tomorrow and that will be awesome. I’ll be okay. And even if I still miss him and love him in a year or two or ten then I’ll still be okay. It takes me 3 months until I’m actually okay and about 5 until I’m actually good. But that was last time and the last guy. I’m hoping it is the same this time.

100 Years

ohmygoditsmegan:

100 Years | Five For Fighting

Fifteen, there’s never a wish better than this when you only got a hundred years to live.

Every time I listen to this I’m back at the piano listening to Bryce play and sing. I miss him.